The Customer Experience Podcast
The Customer Experience Podcast

Episode 124 · 9 months ago

124. The Flight Back to the Face w/ Ethan Beute


Are you a text person? Or are you better on the phone? We all know we're better on the phone. We've got our voice tone, pace, and personality to work with.

Let's raise the stakes: Are you a phone person or a face-to-face person?

I’m Ethan Beute, Chief Evangelist at BombBomb, host of The Customer Experience Podcast, and co-host of the CX Series on the B2B Growth Show. Not long ago, I enjoyed the privilege of presenting at the inaugural TEDx UCCS (University of Colorado, Colorado Springs) about face-to-face communication.

A very quick overview:

- Why we avoid personal contact even though we know it's more effective

- The truth about the "93% rule" of nonverbal communication

- Tying facial expression to empathy, ethics, and justice

- What you're normalizing in everyday communication

Subscribe, listen, and rate/review the Customer Experience Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play or Google Podcasts, and find more episodes on our blog.

The face has a language all of its ownhuman potasional, expression of emotions, Bot universal and it's amate. The single most important thing you cando today is to create and deliver a better experience for your customers,learn how sales, marketing and customer success experts create internalalignment, achieve desired outcomes and exceed customer expectations in apersonal and human way. This is the customer experience podcast, here'syour host, ethen beaute, shared beliefs, shared values, commonpurpose, a specific point of view about the world or a problem or anopportunity within the world. These are foundational to an excellent employeeexperience and to an excellent customer experience. They bring us together.They bind us together and there are so many ways to express this pov or pointof view. One Way I was able to do that was through a tetex presentation. Ienjoyed the privilege a few years back of presenting at the inaugural TEDXuccs. That's the University of Colorado. Colorado Springs. It's the local campusof the CU system in Colorado Springs where Bombom is headquartered where Ilive with my wife and son, and you CCS is also where I earned my MBA. Thistalk gathered a lot of the work that I had done in the years leaving up to it,and it was incredibly helpful to the start of Rehumanize Your Business, abook that I coauthored with my longtime friend and team member Steve Passinelli,if you're a regular listener to the customer experience podcast in the CXseries on BTB growth, you know we're pretty pro human and many of theconversations are human centered and this Tedex talk is no different. I hopeyou enjoy it. Oh we haveethen, but is a VB condet an communication. A Bohas a background in, and passion for, BRANDH, retege content andcommunications. For Fourteen years you directed debarteting efforts forbootball PRIDCAST television sictions at websites in Chicago grand rabbitsand Colorado suprise with BAA. He helps people use simple videos and tocommunicate more effectively tope relationships with Te GR otherbusinesses. Is it Beain the University of Michigan NBA Fom, the University ofColorado, Colorao Springs, Hes, a hapy husband and father. Please welcom Ein jus natural privilege to share thisRoman seon th. All you, I'm sor a few questions, and I really need to just toshout out your answer. What you have that I need to be ae to hear you anddon't worry your neighbors TNOT way to judg you about it. First. was she it'sabout connection and communication...

...terms of connecting and communicatingwith other people? Are you better in a tyhtout text, email or you better? Onthe phone immediaely all Tho were better a a home,Peope Ot, more ovan, take o better feeback mop Wev got our voice toln thepese personality, just a lot more information to work bith! It's FiterBac of communication, now soa question different choices. Are you better onthe phone oare you better in person in person we're all better an person estetfeedback. WOOP is now taken up another level. We have all the voval elements,but we also have face pastor by language a's, rich naperalcommunication that our brains are quired to receive from one another.Ofcourse Ote, human meins are social preachers, wor betteran person. Youknow it right away because you menterd immediately now think about your ownpersonal professional success on yourown life, satisfaction right,flourishing, your own personal human forision person, Yo ofessionally. Areyou getting together with people as often as you neeour want to in person? No, absolutely not have you been close,so few of us are there a lot of reasons? Lo Excuses, I think it comes down totwo main things. Time and distance time and distance can pire to keep us apart,but we need to get together in Verson cecause. That's how we connect ancommunicate, most ectively bill relationships and flourisas individuals.So, as a're going to be talking about your, why we need to get face defaseand how, to overhow time the distance Ha tings tat give us apart now some forOmi shere with you tonight, it's Informedou N, Starto, vial, reallygreat opinion bes. I read The New York Times last February and Inen the writerStepin March ta how just gross auses ofother humanlines that occurs aconsequence of not having to face him at hot having to look in in the eyehiding my hive at coner of digital and imemity. I'm talking aboutcybreballying, Internet trolling, flame wars and comments trents, and all ofthat same things and doing things Ha. You would never say if I had to look,you in the Ey would never say that to you in person, but if I can hind thatway, I might do those things a I'm going to take in a different directionthan that, but I am going to start with my favorite line from his piece, whichis this as communication and exchange. How Am Eddy remove a figt back to theface Tetalin eergency as communication and exchange hom, a a remove thiningabout all those messages, you're sending all day long. Every time youlik sed. These are some of your most imformant messages, your most valuablemessages in a lot of pieces. You have lot writing on the outcomes of thesemessages being effactive, and yet you continue to trust those toforms ofcommunication, Short on personality and Shorte I'n clarity, I'm talking aboutall your tech, ow emails, your taxt messages, even so much our social Ledas,all faceless digital communication I's the same black text at the same lihe,screaing wil little littl e kin punchind. Sometimes why do we do that? To make it more clear what we meant? Ishe serious yoas you joking right e has...

...some thirty. We do it sometimes thaHavo personality a little bit upon Frankl Busin as a soltitude for theabsent human face, and of course it has not always been this way. Human Beingswhove been speaking to one another. We've had spoken communication as aspecies with one another for onehundred fiftyousand years. I see it has toe teLice Highero the conservative decision Makor so gon to go with a hundred andfiftyousand years and, of course you think about it all of a sude entiretime. It's been exclusively face te face. It's only been I the fat past fewgenerations that we've been able to Transmitt our voices and Transi orphases through technology, certainly only in the last couple of egades thatwe've been able to rely on some of the space, faceless, Digal Communication.Meanwhile Soa Hundred D, Fifty housn years. Meanwhile, how long have we beenwriting fivehousand years on thirty of theamount of time? If this is all the time we've been speaking to one anotheralmost exclusively face the face? This is how long we've been ariving. So it'sthree percent of the time. It's not as natural to us. It's not asfundamentally human and rankly Olls do us on here, Godt IA, it's a difficultshild to master Te, Walo time and effort eergand. Some of you ano, areprobably hery writors, but most of us on average are not, and so what we'releft with is messages that leave us sometimes in is led and misunderstood,and we can do better than that. Speaking of hisunderstanding, if youever heard or read, Ninety three percent of your communication is notverbal or in terms of the sport that you use. They only add seven percent ofthe meeting to your ommunigation. Some of you have so that's a commen. Thisinterpretation of a work of UCLA psychology, salberb Arabian, whopublished several deades ago, the seven thirty fifty five role of communication,and he wasn't trying to to do what people often try to seay that is workedbasically tryng to qualify. The positive emotional affect of our wordsare the Wases, our faceis seventhirty, fifty five Hess wrere an ninety threecomes from, and I you know when it's taking for exactly what it's intenbernumber of calls with the work, but the one positive antropy Thof. It is thatpeople continue to use it even if they misuse it and Ereson mind it is that itkeeps top of mind something really important, which is how we say.Something has a significant impact. Outet of the communication is how wesee something with our voices and how we see something wit. Our faces,contributing massive along the value whether or not Sini three doesn'tmatter. It has a massive amount of value to litheror messages, understoodor whether our lessagis Liht, whether it produces meout com that we hope forright, and so I don't know that the ninety three is really all that far off.In fact, the face has a language fall of its own human facial expression ofemotion is both universal and it's...

...anate. It's universal, there's a reallyrich fon of research here, an around official expression of emotion, we'retalking, of course, about different researchers at different stitutions indifferent universities and different contentts in different countries,different o these different cultures difent decades. These studies fanobviously involves different participants. Different methnologiesand, despite all these differences is wi research points very often to onconclusion, which is seven human emotions expresse the exacting waythrough our faces pro societies across coathor fross time. We all do it thesame way and that's my son and some of those expressions are Anoud Standar. So it's not just our ability to expressthese emotions through our faces right to invrite these devotions to our FACalsupport ourbility, to fread them and to recognize them o other people and ounderstand them, and we do it automatically and instantly withoutever thinking about it. So give I the language allitselvs, it's universalintitmy, it's an am to US e canl. Do it for infantet. It is not or behavior.One of the studies that I looked at had bind and cited people, and they lookedit the way they were expressing emotions through their faces andpoestatisical standpoint. It's identical! So it's not a CSAYING mimiar thing. Ourpheses have your language and it's a need to be human experience and, ofcourse, the eyes have a massive amount of attribution to at facial languagethat we have one place where fresh phenomenology can be atemporary. Youroscience agree and there are OT VERI men is here. Hat awareness of the self ispreceded by recognition of the other as to say, I know myself as a human being.Only after and only through the processocal game you and the eye andrecognizing you. First, as a human being, and in that moment of sheerhumanity and connection, there's kinshipvill right and of course tinchut-is the Arga empathy, an moral impulse, ethical inpulse for my eary favoritepodcast, his arm being with Chris to Tipbet, and she had a conversation withus. Hirerson Jan wo was from Georgia who's also a sil INS Weer, and he was explaining one of the keyteachings of young men and worness theyere preparing to go out for Nowioprodcest during Civil Iera, and this teaching was to maintain ey contact andSMYLE, no matter what Rle assault physical assalt, someone spits te time.You Tri O Eigten, IU, contect and smile to that person by to creat that moment of humanconnection through the eyes. Hopefully, se to that person, you may be doingwhatever you're doing to me, but IAM, a human being an hopefully pretty atmoment, o empathy and defuse the situation actually of the face and theeyes are tied to, and wit, Bein ethics. It's also tihe and just jice hat theconfertution cause in the sixth, a meme of the United States, anstitution,which orstaks route two housand years...

...earlier in Romand. wordswire no pacewould advance for consideration prior to the victim and Ye aused meating baseto pacte. So you know what induitively you shad it emphatically, I'm MestinPerson I'm not getting in person, often enough, and we need to overcome thisWeekan. They have play back to the face. We wee to make this a commitment in ourlives, because, through this we canaccon community most effectively, wefilld relationships more efactively and relationships. I think I know I deelwith. I think you feel it to relationships are when all of oursuccess comes from. Our personal, professional success and lifesatisfaction come through directly andirectly our respond, ourrelationships with other people, and so the first Waye popose that we overcometime and distance, which are the things that keep us hart this year. FORSE OFWILL SI we get it down. I have hiorrtizing Aur things over it. TakeTuesday afternoon canceled the appointments and go see him or go visither or go out and connect with them. Just get it down they sa up as apriority. We can do this. We have control over our lives. You might haveto make some sacrifices when you do that by R promise. R sorry can do forthe very best insi ever read on the Internet was written by her Egan and atthe time she was a hardwor Ividit Hese do she was also a stupid Chaplin, andit has this program, of course, is a countopontso that work. She oken a lotof people as they prepared to die, and she, of course they have listening topeople in these moments when they're, proficing and Regiono, meating and curpness andtrying to you know, put together all these things that they've experienced,and so she wrote about. But you talk about as we prepare to diis pretty muchexactly what you think: it's not about the money or how many wigits we sold inour career, it's Ot who sold he wigets to and we sole switcit with ot aboutthe house, O h, fancy car we talkd about who was along for the riot whowas waiting for us of the destination. We don't even talk about our religionor it's dity or its tennit. We talk about w. We practice that religion withand through whom, the Deity and TS ten peaking. MANICAST. We talk about people,we talk about relationships, Yo talk about family, we co, Olt Kinso. We talkabout love. These are the things that atter Yo know this. As I say, you knowthat it's true, we all know it in to it at week, and so I promise it. You madethat fo Heven to get these face with people. You won't regret it, no matterwhat you have to cancel, unless it's other people don' do that, and even with your best intentions, Iyou're all motivated owt N es like Hon a Gou at I'm. Gon Get hat done. I youstill Goin to come. OUP Short you're, Gonto, cove, O short, because the otherthings getting the way- or this is the passitve side of that I'r Goingno. Doit and it's going to be so intrinsically valuable to you. It'sgoing to reward you so much that you, Dan Wan, even more you're, going tocome up short in that right and SOM of those cases. I encurge you to be therein person when you can't be there in...

...person through video and when I seevideo, I'm not talking about scripted videos and edited videos and producinvideos or any of that Talki about simple face to fice communication. Italked about relationships through video and you already have wan o Ne toget started. It's that Wen cam tat's build into your laptop like me by it.Sor Yo therror, it's in your monitor or you can tug it into the side of yourcomputer Bi Usbing, it's very inexpensive and easy to do withsufficient quality. It's that little bath, that's inyou Av hat, thets, OCameran. You should use it right, ord to show you got right now and YourePursinn your pocket. What Dis that phone have? What's one of its keyfuatures, I Cama, of course, and every time you get a new phome, what does ithave in it? Er Camera? Why do they do that? Se Hoos it? I seen Meu feel bett about ite, Lookin,Youre, sering, vhotos and videos of yourself and other people that matterto you and your wife. You have the equipment that you get sor and just ACcameras are a keapoint of Cowfererce Capetiton for the starpho manufacturesso to our video natures for the social networks, feesebok twitter, instagram,natchchat. All ruling out video features always not puttiting. Thevideo features right now. It's all about live video. They want you sharinglife Viyo with other people in your world and your pursu network and yourfamily, an we Sharin, my video and of coursline videos. When you long hadavailable Microsoft, ets, you SCA, Google, it you hangout apple. Is Youface ham, these o free tools and guess what it's connected to the device?That's connected to the innervut net? That can get you faced Tho face withanyone anywhere any time as long as you and one or more other people have adevice in the Internet can actually have the free software. You can getthings to face with anyone in the world anytime and in that way we completelyeliminate distance. Alright sojistince is no otern issue, but you still havetime. Take Hese Kie of to now, I'm not abaiable to for Sorr can dofor Ho aboutthis Tuesday Igeo don that daand so time intus to be an issue. In thatscenario, icer you think about recording and sending simple heosmetsic. We do it Bo lo or a software company and Dat Ha our oi make itreally GE easy to cord and send simple video messages. Typically, you emailjust to help get ou face: Deface, OT, more people more often and there's aAcein canicity there I recorded when it's convenient for meand. I send it upbefore people and she opens immediately. He opens it five minutes later. Heopens it five hours later that guy in the back five days. What's he doingfavi agent SOTHERE's an easy prenicity? There some time and distance, then afare not the same issue, but when each one those people opens that massage upthe experience me in persons like I'm there with them. I hear all the time ever relationships, woever pustomersm and one of the things that theydescribe very frequently to me is, if ano, not call e propinquity. Now theydon't use to work for CONPEE DECRIME WAT, they alse throwup words like otinkw Isa, psychological practinity...

...built through frequency and familiariyof exposure, so people feel psychologically proximate to you whenyou get face to face with them more often it's a mernissn in its againindependent completely of physical pactiity. I can feel connecton to you.I can feel closer to you as a consequence of experience experiencingyou in person. More often Mata research project in the field, with a team fromHarvard visin school last month and as the LEA researcher was preparing thestudy trying to figure out what you wanted to do with a video and emailversus Textan Yemail. What do I want to get at s a gentleman, an Antergrad, Yeu,tatral, Canid, ther harbor? He thought O be really helpful in designing thestuding choosing H instruments in the methadology, all that speak Sio, ourcustomers, firse and sor ronded up a couple hasn't names in mor o peoplethat they'd be happy to talk hlit and he had some of those conversations. Andthen we got back together and I said anter whate you were, and he surey therwere things with me, but there were two keetings that too on was the propentlypiece which didn't surprise either one less we expectedty her. I haven't seenthat wit, it asn't something. I hear a lot something else. Wif A hetre that Ihad apheard to me was very interesting. Ou know when you're I uful a at it's,not just the recipient that feels closer to the center. It's also thecender feeling close teto ter Wa siand. He said a number of people told him Ifeel closer to I ass clients or to my friends whyan. I reach out to them insome more personal way. It's really interesting to me. I had a lot about it.I Guess Whan I wer like I they hav made. I perence the same thing: an Havim, herfrom a number of people, maybe think about the process of looking the camerain the linds and talking to you trying to convey in the end of the IAFfor your situation or, if you RA, ow, whatever, is that IM reaching ou to oout from that communication, the process of looking in that Lensconturing, you in my mind and speaking to you as F, if I'm there with you inperson as a significant pack out mean as well, I feel closer to the peoplethat I'm working with and people that I want to work with, and people hat I'mfamily with and people. I'm friends with, I feelwultu to you as a countofunof hatpacts, an wo. It's a really interesting thing that they e about oplnormalizing every single day. What's normal in your communication patterns,it's appropriate! What standards are you seting on expectations are yseingof yourself and a other people and are be sufficiently human, are thessufficiently full f personality and Clarly alread being yousself? Are youproducing your own ahortion for your communication, ES WAN to Leavyou, withthis idea, you're gointo intend to and often because we do all the time,but I want you to think the next time tougr out to get tend. Would it bebetter if I said in person, andit probably will anyo...

...he thinks so much for listening. I hopeyou enjoyed that one. If you want to see the actual video recording or ifyou want to learn how that presentation was produced. Some of theconsiderations challenges choices that were made along the way visit,Bombomcom podcast, that's bomb, Bombcom, podcast, look for episode, Hondre D,Twenty four TEDX will be in the title and there you can browse and check outother episodes of the customer experience podcast, including one wherethe Ted brand did come up if you're a regular listener. You know that Ialways give each guest the chance to give a nod or a shoutout or a mentionto a company or a brand that delivers for her or him as a customer and backon episode. Fifty nine, with Tyler Menky the pirates guy to sails, learnand steal from the best he gave a nod to the Ted brand. Again, you can findall that at Bombamcom podcast and if you really appreciate the message inthis tedex talk here on this episode check out Rehumanize Your Business, youcan learn more by searching rehumanize your business at Amazon or wherever youprefer, to buy books or by visiting Bombomcom Book Bomb Bombcom Book. Myname is Ethan Baut, thanks again for listening to the CX series on BTBgrowth and to the customer experience podcast, clear communication, humanconnection, higher conversion. These are just some of the benefits of addingvideo to the messages your sending every day. It's easy to do with just alittle guidance, so pick up the official book. Rehumanize your business,how personal videos, accelerate sales and improve customer experience learnmore in order today at Bombamcom Buck. That's Bo, MB vombcom book. Thanks forlistening to the customer experience. podcast remember the single mostimportant thing you can do today is to create and deliver a better experiencefor your customers, continue. Learning the latest strategies and tactics bysubscribing right now in your favorite podcast player, or visit Bombomcompodcast.

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